Loved me back to life

When you are a young mom and someone tells you that you are damaged goods and will never find love again, it breaks your spirit. Even though you know not to believe such stupidity, it sticks with you. It becomes evident when a seemingly good guy approaches you; you don't want to believe what they say, no matter how genuine it seems. Accepting the good things they say  requires you to confront your inequities and open up to them and and that's risky. What if you get hurt again?  You know you can't afford to be hurt again because you need your strength for 2 people now, you and your child. These are the thoughts that come to your mind. And you just dismiss all efforts they make to get your attention. I know of people who totally give up on the idea of bieng in a relationship due to the terrible experiences they had from their toxic relationships. The emotional hurt leaves invisible scars that are only visible through fear of opening up to feel again. 

I believe God sends us people we need to help us get over our terrible experiences. Unfortunately what we need doesn't usually look like what we want and we usually miss those opportunities. Fortunately for me i didn't miss it. Though, almost everything in my nature wanted to reject him but something deep within told me it was worth the try. 

When someone loves you till you believe that you are trully worthy and regain the confidence in people, helps you grow and finally accept your mistakes and imperfections; that person is truly a God sent. It is not easy to love a broken person, as you try to bring them closer, their broken peaces cut through your flesh. You certainly cannot do this without getting strength from God.

Someone did that for me. I must admit I wasn't an easy person to love but they didn't give up on me, they saw the light in me I didn't know I had. They did the hard work but I still had to do the work myself. I am now a firm believer that real change and growth is not inflicted by someone else. Sure they can be a catalyst of change but the real work comes from within. I relied on them to do all the work, and expected them to bring me change. No matter how hard they tried, I didn't t find the satisfaction, they just became a nuisance instead. I was walking around with a half-dead heart and  he was working hard performing a CPR to someone who wasn't ready to be rescussitated. It is only after I had worked on myself and grew from within that I understood the value of their efforts and I am grateful to God for them. 

Tyler Perry said, some people come to you for a season and are only there for a season to  boost you to another level. They are never meant to stay for a lifetime because they may not handle the altitudes you are going to reach, so they fall off along the way. Just because they fall, it does not make their presence in your life less important. 

Because of my seasonal booster who gave me a push and confidence, I gained Faith in humanity again. 

Most importantly I understand that true satisfaction comes from within🥰🥰. From trully accepting yourself with your inequities...